Making peace with Menopause
The aged old rug that menopause was swept under is being lifted. And I think that's a really great thing. Information is power and if we talk about things like menopause and its coterie of symptoms and impacts, we can do things about it.
I’m noticing that even in the positive shift to talking about menopause publicly, the messages are still largely negative. But what about the instances where, in its own way, menopause can have a very positive effect on life and can also help resolve issues and provide healing?
There are women who have found that menopause has been one of the single most liberating experiences and transitions of their life. Part of talking about this stuff is talking about that too.
As a woman who never had children, there were times during my fertile years when I did wonder ‘What if?’ Then momentarily I became a cliché when I hit the early forties speedbump and found myself thinking, “oh gosh, time is running out.” There was sadness in that, but I actually felt more frightened by the fleeting desperation I experienced, than the fact that menopause was just around the corner.
It can be exhausting living your life wondering about 'what ifs' and 'what could have been’s'.
Nature, menopause, takes choice out of your hands. It can be hard, but you can also discover that life somehow becomes simpler. Nature teaches us to be in the moment we are in right now.
It can be exhausting living your life wondering about 'what ifs' and 'what could have been’s'. These questions tend to accumulate grief. When you pass through menopause and you do look back, it can be extraordinary to realise how heavy the emotional load is that you've been carrying. And you don't realize that until you finally lift it from your childless belly and lay it gently down on the ground.
Yes, menopause has hot flushes and weight gain and mood swings and dry vaginas. But what it can also give you back, is a state of self-determination. Menopause can give women a chance to just be themselves.
Personally, I have found menopause has helped me make peace with many aspects of my life, and I'm grateful for that. Things have shifted within me. I'm now able to focus more freely on the things I wish to create myself. I focus on the different ways I can create the mark I leave upon this world: art, creativity, music, healing, love, community involvement, conservation….all of these things become a territory to navigate with a clear view.
And maybe there are times for tears. Maybe there are times for regrets, but what menopause has taught me most of all, is as a woman, I can be 'me' in the moment I am right now.
Are there things that going through menopause has helped you make peace with?